Let this be a warning to all of you (JK) // Breaking up is actually not that hard to do (and feels awesome) dunna dunna dunna

(No idea why there are no paragraph breaks. Sorry.)

So the last friend I have left from my brief stint at Copenhagen University, Pål, has been behaving himself like an ass for about the past year. We used to be able to talk about anything and while I was at school we saw each other a few times a week. After a while there developed some nice flirty sexual tension which was mutually acknowledged, but nothing ever came of it. When I stopped school I obviously saw him less but after a while he started acting really strange. I could tell the sexual tension thing had sort of run it's course and died a quiet death but I had hoped/assumed that the friendship would still be there.

Cut to me being the only one who ever initiates things, and him becoming progressively more and more dodgy about taking calls and scheduling meet-ups.

Anyway, after literally a couple of months trying to nail him down to a coffee meet-up in Copenhagen (i.e. way more inconvenient for me than him) so we could exchange the books we had loaned each other the last time we saw each other--when he came up to visit me in my old appartment BACK IN DECEMBER--I finally got him to answer the phone. He was super akward and told me he wouldn't be able to arrange anything until after some trip he was taking to Turkey with his class and by the waaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy... he has kind of a girl he's seeeeeing/daaating, ......actually she's his girlfriend. [Akward pause inserted by him.]

This was sort of ironic timing because just the day before I had found out (by noticing the new name on the mailbox and then, all the moving boxes full of girly stuff that I saw all over the house when I opened the door to drop off Ven for the weekend) that Morten's girlfriend has moved in. I am proud to announce that my first and only reaction to the news was to be really happy for Morten.

Back to akward phone conversation...

I didn't know what to do with the wierd energy coming from Pål so I was just like, "Well, oooohhhK, call me when you get back then.". I've been sitting on it for a few days but you know what? I made a decision and wrote this email to him today:

Pål,

I've been waiting and trying to say this in person to you but I just want to have it done now. I am breaking up with you--as a friend. I really don't know what the fuck is going on with you but you're barely in my life at all and what little interaction we have makes me feel like crap. The world is full of people who won't want to spend time with me, but somehow you're the only one who makes me feel wierd about it. I have been feeling for a long time like you have lost interest in seeing me (which is fine) but still allowed me to drag you through coffee meet ups and a tortorous visit to the countryside out of some misplaced sympathy for me or cowardly inability to speak up about what you're feeling (not fine). And Jesus, Morten had an easier time telling me his girlfrfiend moved into the house we bought together than you did telling me you're dating someone. WTF, egotistical much?

So here's the deal, people who continualy make me feel bad do not get to continue to be in or potentially in my life. I know what it's like to be busy and to have friends that are busy and that is NOT what this feels like. You've had a bunch of chances, so now you can just return my fucking books in the mail. It does shitty things to my head to continue to wonder/hope about what is going on with you/our friendship and why you are being so elusive and is it just me being sensitive and just give him another chance and blah blah blah. It's not just me being sensitive, and I deserve better.

[Address was here]

Please do it sooner than later so I can wrap this shit op and cross it off my to do list. I need your new address so I can do the same.

P.S. I feel so much fucking better already.

And you know what? I do feel better. A lot better. :)